There’s obviously a reason she didn’t think it would work out, so why keep trying to pursue someone who is clearly not interested in you?Instead, channel your energy into meeting someone else. A general rule: once you’ve sent four messages back and forth, someone should ask someone out — preferably the man. The scenario: “I was really into someone I went on a few dates with, until he told me he was taking down his online dating profile and he wanted me to do the same.” — Jess, 34The problem..the solution: Nothing will scare a girl faster than putting that kind of pressure on her too early into the relationship.The scenario: “One time I was messaging back and forth with a guy for two weeks and having a great conversation, but he was taking too long to ask me out, so I stopped talking to him.” — Kelly, 32The problem..the solution: If you’re into her, ask her out! And if you’re not, why are you still talking to her? When she’s ready to make her exit from the online dating world, she’ll let you know. ” The scenario: “I can’t stand when I get a message that says ‘any fun weekend plans? ” — Laura, 27The problem..the solution: Sending a generic message—especially one as uninteresting as this—is not what’s going to make you stand out from other guys.

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A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.

The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?

’” — Kristen, 27The problem..the solution: Aside from the obvious inappropriate nature of the comment to a complete stranger, men should never mention their physical characteristics or their own body parts in an introductory message.

Women are easily scared away online, so you should avoid saying anything remotely controversial or predatory.

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By the time your date comes around, she’ll already have lost interest or have found someone more attentive.