‘After a ten-minute chat, he invited her to his favourite curry house,’ she concludes triumphantly.I’m awed that anyone could have a ten-minute conversation about rice.“So when he sat me down one day to tell me he was a sex addict, I actually laughed – although I soon stopped when he disclosed night upon night of watching pornography for hours on end and numerous short-lived affairs.

How much of your life are you standing up next to each other?

’Then she asks what I’m doing to improve my chances of meeting someone, and suggests a big party where everybody brings a single friend, adding: ‘You need to spend more time in places where you can start up conversations without expectations.’This, it turns out, is largely what Jean’s ‘flirtology’ is about — not being coquettish, but simply going to places where there are other people, and talking to them.

She has also devised an unlikely acronym for six flirting signals to look for.

‘It’s HOT APE — Humour, open body-language, touch, attention, proximity and eye contact.

And I’m not the only one — business is booming for Jean, whose clients’ age range spans from the early 30s to the mid 50s.‘I’m busier all the time, not because it’s harder to flirt these days, but because it’s become more acceptable to ask for help,’ she says.

‘People are just expected to know this stuff, and they think everyone else is born good at it.’Indeed, the boom in online dating and the rise of so-called ‘silver splitters’, who divorce in midlife, means more of us than ever are struggling on the dating scene: one in five women over 45 is now single.It’s not completely hooked on the end result of having a partner, more about realising the great things in what you already have,’ she says. Do it, without worrying what they will think or whether they are single.The real thing she teaches is not flirting, but having the confidence to flirt. “I could have dealt with a gambling addiction or alcoholism – anything but this,” Rachel confirms.Like most partners, she initially didn’t buy into the concept of sex addiction (“it sounded like a pretty weak excuse for an affair”) and even when she did start to believe that her husband’s behaviour was compulsive, her friends didn’t (“they’d look at me in despair, asking since when had sexual desire became a monster that can’t be controlled”), leaving her feeling isolated.Eight years into her marriage, Rachel started to wonder if her husband had lost interest in sex.